It all starts with a phone call. A simple phone call letting me know I have an audition, and I'm already nervous. What will the project be about? What will be asked of me? Am I able to live up to others expectations of my talent? Will I be able to live up to my own?
These, and many other, questions rip through my head at a frantic pace. Usually it's not a big deal. I'll look at the audition in my email, and it turns out to be nothing. I'll be auditioning for Jimmy the loveable, but goofy, mailman who can't do anything right. No sweat, I can do that in my sleep.
Sometimes though, and it's happening more often now that I'm trying to broaden my horizons, I'll get an audition that is perfect: Perfect in the worst way. Perfect in the way that pushes me just outside of where I'm comfortable, somewhere I'm scared to go. Where the emotional path isn't well worn, and I can only see what's ahead by encountering it. Like a wild beast.
Perfect in the way that makes me shun any preparation at all. Yet at the same time has me scrambling to figure out every detail: Filling in every gap. Wanting it to be so perfect, yet so unrehearsed. Memorized yet completely nonchalant and authentic in it's delivery. Like a sculpture created by a master craftsman out of play-doh.
Then there is the actual audition. It's on my mind the second I wake up, all the way until I enter the casting room. Maybe it's my military upbringing, but I imagine every scenario that could happen and what I would do in that case. What do I do if the casting director hates my performance? What do I do if the casting director asks me to improv? What do I do if robot mercenaries break through the wall, and take the casting director hostage? I cover all the angles.
I can't tell you what goes on once I step inside those doors. It's not a secret. I'm not embarrassed to tell you. It's that I can't really remember. Once my name is called, small talk commences, and my resume is handed over: All my worries and fears fly out the window. It's showtime. It's go-time. Doug enters stage left and starts his audition. Then it's over.
The feeling after is always the same. Making fun of myself for making such a monstrous thing out of it, when really it's all anticipation. What's funny is the audition that ended with me on a show, is the audition I remember freaking out about the most.
-Doug
Sometimes though, and it's happening more often now that I'm trying to broaden my horizons, I'll get an audition that is perfect: Perfect in the worst way. Perfect in the way that pushes me just outside of where I'm comfortable, somewhere I'm scared to go. Where the emotional path isn't well worn, and I can only see what's ahead by encountering it. Like a wild beast.
Perfect in the way that makes me shun any preparation at all. Yet at the same time has me scrambling to figure out every detail: Filling in every gap. Wanting it to be so perfect, yet so unrehearsed. Memorized yet completely nonchalant and authentic in it's delivery. Like a sculpture created by a master craftsman out of play-doh.
Then there is the actual audition. It's on my mind the second I wake up, all the way until I enter the casting room. Maybe it's my military upbringing, but I imagine every scenario that could happen and what I would do in that case. What do I do if the casting director hates my performance? What do I do if the casting director asks me to improv? What do I do if robot mercenaries break through the wall, and take the casting director hostage? I cover all the angles.
I can't tell you what goes on once I step inside those doors. It's not a secret. I'm not embarrassed to tell you. It's that I can't really remember. Once my name is called, small talk commences, and my resume is handed over: All my worries and fears fly out the window. It's showtime. It's go-time. Doug enters stage left and starts his audition. Then it's over.
The feeling after is always the same. Making fun of myself for making such a monstrous thing out of it, when really it's all anticipation. What's funny is the audition that ended with me on a show, is the audition I remember freaking out about the most.
-Doug
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